Brain Power and Motherhood

Both N and I are working mums. N, because she is a single mother who has no interest in being on welfare, and me because I have a passion for shopping and discovered that being stuck at home with two kids was much like being forced to swallow razor blades.

N and I met through an internet forum. Interesting place to meet people - its the kind of forum where pregnant women and mothers get together to share and help each other out. In reality it was a bitch fest. It was an opportunity for women to completely take the piss out of each other without recompense. Quite frankly, the most fun you can have when you cant see your toes and you need to pee every thirty minutes.

So anyway, on to the point of this post. N and I were talking about another character we have met through the internet. She is a stay at home mum (SAHM) and is very proud to be one. However, like so many SAHM's she appears to have a slight insecurity issue about staying at home. And one issue she took to heart was the idea that women go back into the workforce because they need to think. She really doesn't accept the argument that women can find it mentally stifling being at home with pre-schoolers.

This raises two points for me, and the first one is most easily dealt with and really not controversial at all. In reality there are plenty of women who choose to work rather than be a SAHM because they desire adult conversation; they desire the opportunity to use their education or skills in a field that is not in any way whatsoever related to nappy changes and the merits of playhouse disney vs nick jr.

The second point is a bit harder though. Do SAHM's really use the same level of 'brain power' that someone in the workforce does? Does it depend on the job she does?

I guess I can only talk about my experience, but for me the answer is easy. Staying at home with my amazing, entertaining and energetic preschoolers does not require me to use the full capacity of my brain. Staying at home with them is harder believe me - you have to deal with the monotony, the drudgery, the non-existent pay, and you have to take an interest in what your children are doing. I pretty quickly learned that my pre-schoolers had no interest in me sitting on the couch reading a good book, their preference was for something messy and that would inevitably end in tears.

So no, staying at home, does not strain the brain intellectually. It may strain it emotionally, but not intellectually. It wasn't until I got back into the workforce that I got to challenge my skills, my experience and my ability to use my brain to provide creative resolutions to problems. But then again, I do a middle management kind of role, I need to be able to use my brain. My job is not repetitive, monotonous or boring. I kind of wonder, if I would be so excited about being a working mum if I was forced into a position that didn't require such scope for brain power.

Perhaps if I was in a role where the job was repetitive, monotonous and you were not required to think for yourself, then I wouldn't be so keen on leaving the SAHM world. At home at least you get to be bored and frustrated in your trackpaints LOL.

But I am not going to be made to feel guilty about wanting to use my brain. It keeps it healthier for a start, and somedays its the only muscle in my body getting any exercise heh heh heh. So I say, good for you to the women who want to admit that being at home with the kids has stifled their mental abilities - from my experience, this is exactly what happened. And now I am working, I am happier spending the time I can with both Bee and the A Man and I am more likely to take time to do what they want to do. Which is inevitably messy and ends in tears...